So das habe ich mal auf Warseer gefunden..... sehr witzig.... 😀
Enjoy 😉
Xenos:
The Necrons will go into hiding again because they will run out of polish and are ashamed of their stained exterior.
The Tyranids will be killed by a ancient weapon of massive power, a giant magnifying glass. But a lone Hive Fleet survives the incident because a short sighted guardsmen mistakenly thought the gaunt standing before him was his dog. After an hour of playing with him the Hive Mind of this fleet found it more rewarding to become the producer of the best pets in the universe.
Chaos:
Nugle will die from a really nasty cold.
Khorne finally takes the biggest skull for his throne, his own. Alas he doesn't survive the process but dies smiling.
Tzeentch wants to make a final test and begins plotting agains himself. A minor distraction lets him forget his schemes and he will find his master in himself.
Slaneesh will realize the pleasure of suicide.
CSM:
The chaos marines are pissed of by the sheer madness of their former gods and try to redeem themselves. After roughly a three centuries the Eye of Terror is transformed into the Eye of Love and even Mortarions former death world is filled with flowers where cheerful children can run around lightheartedly.
The Death Guard themselves will become Life Guards and begin to protect every lake or ocean on their world.
Angrons World Eaters will be known as World Healers and they will be known for their peacefulness, the flowers in their hair and the mysterious hallucinogenic substances they share with everyone.
Abaddon helps the inhabitants of Cadia to rebuild their system and is therefore declared first president of the EuroCadia Amusement Park which he will then lead as his hobby after his retirement.
The Night Lords will stop recruiting murderers and criminals and instead take the best comedians of the galaxy and start an extremely successful latenight series in memory of the secret dreams of Conrad Kurtze that will be known as "Tonightlords".
Another great success will be the great reunification tour of the "Artists formerly known as Emperors Children". Fulgrim will become idolized by many teenagers who want to have the same serpentine body as he has.
After realizing that praying to some idiotic gods is as rewarding as preaching to the emperor the Word Bearers under Lorgar decide that it would be the best if they had their own philosophy. Five centuries of selfreflection later they spread a message of love and tolerance throughout the whole galaxy.
Tzeentch's death will end the rubric of Ahriman and the Thousand Sons become normal again. They stop using arcane magics and instead focus even more on the gathering of informations. This will lead to the construction of a galaxy wide network of astropaths that will be known as interpath while Magnus adopts the title of "l33t H4xx0rer".
The Iron warriors will turn around a 180 degrees and start building stuff instead of razing it finally admitting that the construction of the iron cage has made more fun than fighting over it and are joined by the Imperial Fists. Together they fuse their names to "Imperial Warriors" but decide against it because it seems to destructive and take "Iron Fists" in the second try. Several lawsuits with the Iron Hands later they settle for the name of "Emperors Construction Ltd."
Imperium:
The emperor and the Dragon will awake at the same time but instead of trying to kill each other and thereby wiping out the whole solar system the emperor claims to be the owner of the dragon and surprise the Adeptus Mechanicus by fleeing from the horrendous fees for parking his dragon on Mars.
The Inquisition will still rely on their finest weapon: Surprise. Surprise and fear. Their two weapons: Surprise and fear. And ruthless efficiency. Their three weapons: Surprise, fear and ruthless efficiency. And an almost fanatical devotion for the emperor. They will also start using new techniques like cushions and comfy chairs.
In a secluded room in the Fang Leman Russ will finally end his work on the Rap song he wanted to write after the Heresy and presents the finished version of the song to a startled Bjorn the Felhanded with the words "I told I would come back with the Wolf Ryme".
On the other side of the galaxy the Dark Angels will be surprised by an strangely clad Lion El'Johnson who wants them to train for his new musical called "The Rock Horror Picture Show".
The Blood Angels claim to be guilty of vampirism but instead of being exterminated they become idolized by goths.
Khan,Vulkan, Corax, Ferrus Manus and Dorn will return with suntanned clad in hawaiian shirts after their vacation has ended. They will terrorize their chapters over the next millenia with the photos of their trip.
Quelle Warseer
Enjoy 😉
Xenos:
The Necrons will go into hiding again because they will run out of polish and are ashamed of their stained exterior.
The Tyranids will be killed by a ancient weapon of massive power, a giant magnifying glass. But a lone Hive Fleet survives the incident because a short sighted guardsmen mistakenly thought the gaunt standing before him was his dog. After an hour of playing with him the Hive Mind of this fleet found it more rewarding to become the producer of the best pets in the universe.
Chaos:
Nugle will die from a really nasty cold.
Khorne finally takes the biggest skull for his throne, his own. Alas he doesn't survive the process but dies smiling.
Tzeentch wants to make a final test and begins plotting agains himself. A minor distraction lets him forget his schemes and he will find his master in himself.
Slaneesh will realize the pleasure of suicide.
CSM:
The chaos marines are pissed of by the sheer madness of their former gods and try to redeem themselves. After roughly a three centuries the Eye of Terror is transformed into the Eye of Love and even Mortarions former death world is filled with flowers where cheerful children can run around lightheartedly.
The Death Guard themselves will become Life Guards and begin to protect every lake or ocean on their world.
Angrons World Eaters will be known as World Healers and they will be known for their peacefulness, the flowers in their hair and the mysterious hallucinogenic substances they share with everyone.
Abaddon helps the inhabitants of Cadia to rebuild their system and is therefore declared first president of the EuroCadia Amusement Park which he will then lead as his hobby after his retirement.
The Night Lords will stop recruiting murderers and criminals and instead take the best comedians of the galaxy and start an extremely successful latenight series in memory of the secret dreams of Conrad Kurtze that will be known as "Tonightlords".
Another great success will be the great reunification tour of the "Artists formerly known as Emperors Children". Fulgrim will become idolized by many teenagers who want to have the same serpentine body as he has.
After realizing that praying to some idiotic gods is as rewarding as preaching to the emperor the Word Bearers under Lorgar decide that it would be the best if they had their own philosophy. Five centuries of selfreflection later they spread a message of love and tolerance throughout the whole galaxy.
Tzeentch's death will end the rubric of Ahriman and the Thousand Sons become normal again. They stop using arcane magics and instead focus even more on the gathering of informations. This will lead to the construction of a galaxy wide network of astropaths that will be known as interpath while Magnus adopts the title of "l33t H4xx0rer".
The Iron warriors will turn around a 180 degrees and start building stuff instead of razing it finally admitting that the construction of the iron cage has made more fun than fighting over it and are joined by the Imperial Fists. Together they fuse their names to "Imperial Warriors" but decide against it because it seems to destructive and take "Iron Fists" in the second try. Several lawsuits with the Iron Hands later they settle for the name of "Emperors Construction Ltd."
Imperium:
The emperor and the Dragon will awake at the same time but instead of trying to kill each other and thereby wiping out the whole solar system the emperor claims to be the owner of the dragon and surprise the Adeptus Mechanicus by fleeing from the horrendous fees for parking his dragon on Mars.
The Inquisition will still rely on their finest weapon: Surprise. Surprise and fear. Their two weapons: Surprise and fear. And ruthless efficiency. Their three weapons: Surprise, fear and ruthless efficiency. And an almost fanatical devotion for the emperor. They will also start using new techniques like cushions and comfy chairs.
In a secluded room in the Fang Leman Russ will finally end his work on the Rap song he wanted to write after the Heresy and presents the finished version of the song to a startled Bjorn the Felhanded with the words "I told I would come back with the Wolf Ryme".
On the other side of the galaxy the Dark Angels will be surprised by an strangely clad Lion El'Johnson who wants them to train for his new musical called "The Rock Horror Picture Show".
The Blood Angels claim to be guilty of vampirism but instead of being exterminated they become idolized by goths.
Khan,Vulkan, Corax, Ferrus Manus and Dorn will return with suntanned clad in hawaiian shirts after their vacation has ended. They will terrorize their chapters over the next millenia with the photos of their trip.
Quelle Warseer
